I'm Writing, Writing a Novel

There is a file on my computer called "Kelly's Novella." It is password protected and for all intents and purposes blank. There are a couple false starts and a whole lot of nothing. My respected friend (I will imitate Dickens and call her MRF) insists that our novels must be at least 100 pages. She also insists that my book makes her cry. To which I say -- I never agreed to let anyone read my novel, I only agreed to write it.

I have made a few important decisions though. My protagonist will be female and she will have a good friend named Heather or Jennifer, because all female protagonists seem to have a best/special/bosom friend named Heather or Jennifer. What can I say, I'm a traditionalist. Secondly, I write a good and amusing letter (if I do say so myself) so I'll follow my relative strengths as a writer and write an epistle. Besides, it is fun to say. Epistle. Aren't words fun?

But I still need a plot...